You were once the UNIVERSE

 Things aren't always meant to work, right?

Everything came crashing down with a peculiar combination of words that I never imagined in my wildest dreams, would bear such significance in my life. I had always imagined a life with you, I won’t deny or slide away from accepting that. Now I know, how I stumbled upon for my deeds being too early for their time.

I wish I had not stayed up late that night for you to tell me about how everything was wrong with our relationship. It would just have postponed the impending disaster that I never saw coming. I wish you had dropped a few hints along the way to let me know that the our "love" was fading away with every conversation we did not have.

There wasn’t much I could have done but would have saved me of guilt and responsibility. I had been guilty of taking things for granted in the past and the future that I wish we had, I wanted that to exist.

I still remember how I had begun to watch a few episodes of friends and all that interested you, to just hear that excitement in your voice. I wanted our conversations to be more of something you would look forward to, after a long tiring day and how it would be fun to hear your voice travel through a maze of highs and lows as I would describe how much I had loved watching your favorite television series.

I loved hearing you talk about the random crap that had happened when you were a kid but I now realize my fallacy. It wasn’t trash talk that would have kept you from leaving. We needed to have real conversations that hour and I guess we never had enough of those.

Remember my confession about how I was bullied when I was younger? I never had the courage to come out with it, but it was so easy playing it honest with you. And I always thought how we would never have lies and secrets between the two of us. I am sorry that you had to lie, though. I am sorry that you had to lie to keep my happiness intact. I wish you had cared a little less about me when you did because the ‘I love yous’ that you did not mean, hurt more than the truth would possibly have.

I have a confession to make.

There was something that I had been writing for you that I never got around to completing because we always had a lifetime to last like you had quietly slipped into one of the many conversations we never really had. I wanted to be closer to your world. I did not want to be left clueless when you shared posts about seaweed brain.

I tried.

I don’t remember trying harder for anybody else. Nobody had matter as much before. I still have your song recordings, though, and they would always be a part of the only playlist on my phone. And I am not giving up on the silly things and those videos and collage you talked me through. I am beginning to like The Time Traveler’s Wife now. And I hope, I can get around to completing it before you complete the copy of Fragile Things I sent to you.

I just hope that you aren’t reading this. But somewhere down the line, I know you are.

Maybe, someday, we would again meet like the strangers who were curious to know more about each other and ended up falling in love. And maybe, when that happens again, I would begin to understand why it did not work out.

Or maybe, I wouldn’t, maybe I would love you hard so this never happens again or I would just cross the path like a stranger ❤

Yours, no more yours..❤❤

The girl to whom, you meant the universe 💕

-Gamini